Poems of mine

..::*NiChOlE*::...

Poems of mine

thoughts and illusions

go through my head

beloved and betrayed

my feelings have been led

yelling or talking

i cannot understand

milestone after milestone

views of this go through my head.

nothing to understand

its all just a blurr

confessions of greif

and expolisions of unbelife

i hear it is happiness

that all people seek

troubled and dangerous

are the jopurneys you wil travel

to find the truth of life and reality.

to find our place

you have to try hard,

so dangerous feelings

dont go unbarred

trusting isnt easy

by someone you cannot trust

go for the pleasusre..

not for the lust.

thoughts and illusions

go through y head

thinking so deeply

while asleep in my bed.

- Nichole Whaley

- 10-15-04

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if only this world would be so kind

to let me speak whats on my mind.

so that tonight, i may rest in peace

letting you know my love for you will never cease...

and though some day

our lives may end,

im glad that now were more than friends

but i wish you were here and no so far, and instead with me,

looking up at the stars.

- Trevor Anderson

thinking of you makes me smile

i love it when you stay a while

cause you make me happy when you stay

what you dont know is i cry when your away.

and if all this is new to you, then listen hun cause heres a clue, i wrote this poem just to say i love you.

- Trevor Anderson

__________________________________________

step by step i come a little closer

day by day i move a little a little slower

night by night i try a little harder

breath by breath i talk a little softer

i come a little closer to let you know im near

i move a little slower to keep this feeling rare

i try a little harder to open up my heart

i talk a little softer to whisper in your ear

step by step, day by day, night by night and breath by breath i try so hard to keep you near, to let you know that i am there , to tell you that i really trust , and to let you know im all yours.

i love you babe!

- Nichole Whaley

12-03-04

)_)________________________________________

a midnight dream,

a song to sing,

nothing is how it seems..

a bright shinging star,

flys across the sky

theres a twinkle in your eye.

Midnight dreams

and blissful rest

puts your mid

to the test.

Questions in thought

plunder through your head

silly dreams go on

while your alseep in your bed.

Nothing matters anymore,

everyday, everynight ,

your mind is restored

A midnight dream

brings reality to its seams.

a midnight dream

brigns everything how it is..

to how it seems.

A mighnight Dream

- Nichoel Whaley

12-06-04

emotions inside-------

coverd in somthing you cannot tell

barley shown you couldnt notice if you tried

inside my head all i do is yell

everything inside.. is soo deep.. so easy to hide.

Everything is so different

i am happy , sad, angry, frustrated and confuzed

im not here right now.. im in some kind of muse.

  I try to tell you how i feel and what i think

  its so hard to let you know, the feelings i want to show

i dont wanna hurt you, or anyone else.

i put up a fence to keep you far away, yet i want you so close.

Nothing i can do to make these feelings change.

i want to be happy, im not the perosn you think i am

im somthing different, something real....

all you see is a person... hurt and needing to heal.

i should be sprakling with delight and a feeling of freedom and fun....

but im not and i want to be... all i do is run.

Everything wants to block itself out.. run away from everything true.

i love life.. the things you've given me.... but theres sumthing that i push aside from you.

You give me your love, honestly and trust..

all i do is be a bitch.. behind your back i am pissed and i talk shit.

its not things i mean, but it makes me feel better..

it lets of my stress.. lets me fuss and cry.

i cry myself to sleep everynight.. trying to unleash these feelings i have deep inside.

sometimes i am ashamed of you.. why i dont know.. but i know i dont want to be... theres no true reason why

i think im ashamed of myself.. and how i make you feel.. with out even trying..

sometimes.. deep inside.. i think about things you wouldnt want to know.. things that might make everything go away.. but i know it wouldnt do any good.. so i ignore it..

it makes me feel worse that i feel that way..

i dont know what else to do.. or what else to say!

                 : 6-22-04

______________________________________________

Emotions 6-20-04

Emotions goin through my body

out of wack and insane

elements of discomfert

is what i feel , along with pain.

Thoughts of disturbing things

come upon me in my dreams

its comes upon me like a thunderstorm

on a cloudy day .

Darkness falls

the light slowly fades

the sadness pulls inside of me

like a hundred razor blades

Tears of the unknown

drift down my cheek like a waterfall

feels like bricks are pulling me down

deep,deep,deep

right into the ground

Then comes a light

unlike what ive ever seen before

it scares me so much

i cant see feel or think.

The light calls my name,

and pulls me to safty

my emotions can harm me no more.

-nichole

___________________________________________________________

              RAINBOW

I saw a rainbow stretch above my head

it made me think of all the times i cried myself to bed.

I stood there in shock and wondered how,

all of a sudden i was so happy now.

I couldnt belive that something so beautiful

could change such a bad day.

I think it was a sign from god, sent from far away

He told me to let go of all my fears,

and to push aside all my tears.

He helps me walk and helps me stand

and through bad times, he lefnd me his hand.

He picks me up whenever i fall,

He helps me up whenever i crawl.

Through things i've lost to things ive gained,

somehow he finds a way to make me feel no pain.

Whenever i cry, he makes the sun rise,

to show me the light with a path to follow-- it brings me great delight.

Because int he darkness i feel scared and alone.

I feel so lost, like im waiting to come home.

i cried one day for hours on end

then the sign flew over my head from above,

The tears and the pain stopped and so did the rain.

a rainbow above sent away all my pain.

It was a sign to give me light and love,

to let me know that hes watching above.

        ----Nichole M. Whaley     1-16-04

..: Dillusions:.

------dedicated to T.P.F.

Angry and frustrated

I scream and yell

sometimes I just wish

that you'd go to hell

You play me

and screw me over

You blame me

and say its over

Yyou tell me things

I trust and belive

You the wrong one

but you never leave.

If you say its over

then leave me ALONE

Dont say its over

while wearing my favorite cologne

You make me go back

to you over and over

I get so off track

but I cant let you go.. EVER!

You tell me things

then you tell her tha same

Then I drown in tears

and i'm brought to shame

I wanna love you

I wanna trust you

You'd think by now

my heart would overcome you

I guess you could say

I'm playing my own little glames

I keep running back to you

when I know that

there isnt anything to gain

All I've gotten was

Pain and confusion

I guess now here comes

my big CONCLUSION

SCREW IT ALL

you should be my DILLUSION!

--UnClEAr--

easy to please

you have no pride

you try yourself to everything

with pain you liek to hide.

you lie you cheat

your hurt you cry

all you do is wonder,

wonder why all the time

your confuzed on things

why are things

the way they are

sometimes you dont know what to do

so vrey fastly

you do those things

that you know you shouldnt do

you try to hard,

to change how things are

you try to be

that one person

you really shouldnt be

you so sad and depressed

you feel unwanted

and nuthing more.. but less.

all the things you do and want

they're so unclear to me

all you want is love and hope

that things will be ok.

your trapped and captured

in your own little world

keep on trying

and maybe things will change

________________________________________________________

:::Drifting So fast:::

i feel like ew're drifting
so fast and uncontrolled
it hurts so much to feel this way
and i feel so alone.

it hurts to feel the one you love
slowly leave your side
and you know your true feelings ,slowly will abide.

thing syou want to be the same,
slowly but stedily soom come to change.
i feel so unhappy,lied to and brought to shame,
and i guess theres only one person to blame.

to put the blame, wpuld be for me.
i guess i might have tried,
to be sumone who wasnt me.

it feels like things are drifting so fast.
all i really want now, is for me and him to last.
i love him so much and i wish he knew i felt hurt.
i wish he knew i thought he wasnt being true.
but all i guess i can know
is he will never know my hurt.
he can never know my thoughts because,
with us all things will be lost.
i guess thats what you get for love-
all at the expence of that cost.
drifting so fast-- i begin to feel so lost!
____________________________________________________________

:::TRUST:::

how i feel is stuck inside
i have all these thoughts that i feel to hide.
everyones asking what its all about,
and i cant say anything
without feeling some doubt.

you tell me you love me
and then you lie.
all i do is sit here and wonder,
sit and wonder why.

you want me to trust you
but you never seem to tell the truth.
trust is worthy, but only for few.
and you chose to break it
and make me want to cry.

i try to belive what you tell me,
i love you with all of my heart.
i wanna tell you h ow i feel
so that just maybe these feelings dont have to be real.
ive been so hurt by so many ,
and i really dont need that from you.

trust is something hard to give,
but i gave it to you.
you take it- then you break it
now what do you want me to do??
___________________________________________________________

:::: How I Feel::::

i wish i could turn back
and keep everything i had so very near.
all i have is lost now
and all i gained was fear
all mt memories are left behind me
nothing special to me is near
all the new voices
and the people
brought me to many tears.
i dont know anything of this place
not even a single face
it gets me so confuzed
on why exactly i feel this way.
my emotions are so uncontrolable
and to me all i gained was lost forever
all i feel is sadness
filling my body like the deepest ocean
why i feel this way is unknown
but i all know is its barely ever shown.
all of my feelings and all my emotions
are held inside of me so tight
i try and let them out
let it out with all my might
i try so hard to tell
my friends and family how i feel
But i CANT because it will hurt them
and this is what i fear.
so all of this i keep inside
the hurt is kepr so near
i feel so sad and loney
and this is my greatest fear.

___________________________________________________________

:::: My bodys like an ocean::::

-- dedicated to ... my life

My bodys liek an ocean
deep beneath it is my pain
but all i feel is emptiness
like theres nuthing to gain.
theres so much about me
you dont even know
all this stuff i have inside
that im afraid to show.
Theres so much hurt and want
but theres nuthing i can do.
all this depression i have inside of me,
trying to get out and be free.
My bodys like an ocean
deep and insecure.
people think that things are fine
and that i have no fear.
really all i have is hope
that things will be ok
but my mind keeps telling me
to push you far away.
my bodys like an ocean
so deep and far to reach.
Cuz' no one understands me
no one can get the reach.
People dont even know me
and they act liek they really do.
they hardest thing about me thou
is that i really love you.
my bodys like an ocean
filled with things you cannot see
all i really want right now
is for you to be with me

___________________________________________________________

:::: Running::::

running fast through the thickest trees
im running through the woods
running through the leaves
it's all behind me now
theres no looking back
theres nuthing old
just the brand new
theres nuthing to hate or nuthing to hide
im running through the woods
from all my greatst fears.
but now theres nuthing behind me
there is nuthing to fear
all because im running fast
im running from my greatest fears.

_____________________________________________________________

This isnt mine.. but i found it online.. so here it is..tee hee

WHAT IS A BITCH-
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a Bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a Bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way, they call me a Bitch. Being a Bitch means that I am free to be the wonderful creature that I am, with all my own Intricacies, contradictions, quirks and beauty. Being a Bitch means that I won’t compromise what’s in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak up against it, I am defined as a Bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself Instead of being everyone’s maid, or when I act a little selfish. I am proud to be a Bitch. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won’t become anyone else’s idea of what they think I “should” be. I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. By God, I want what I want, and there Is nothing wrong with that. So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, Try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold with in me. You won’t succeed and If that makes me a Bitch, so be it! I embrace the title and I am Proud to bear it.